Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Running To Stand Still

Sound's familiar with the title of this post for today *hehehehe*, yups... kinda addict with one of the U2 song entitled " Running to Stand Still".


Here's the story begin:

I'm officially being an unpaid leave employee.
Yups, I already sign my resignation letter.
There's so many stories to talk about.
But the point is, the place that seems so luxurious outside is not as the same as like what you look deeply inside.

Deeply in my hearth, I really enjoy my job was, and I thank God for the blessing. He gave me a chance to work on really-really good time and bad under pressure time, in His time.

Here, I do believe that, practice makes perfect *kemane aje joooooo* - GUBRAKS!!!
Work under pressure, party, having fun, get a big 'slap' in front of your face, and also thousand yelling...been there done that,and maybe still there someday.

This is not a decision that I made in hurry, already though this about 3 months ago. Rethink, rethink, rethink thousand times...until I'm so tired to make it through.
Until I realize, if I've not decided now, so when?

Crazy, yups... because I just go out from my company without at least 'saving one in my pocket, from that thousand company name that already accept me as their newbie'.
Definitely nope....

Have I do something to make 'it' happen?
Yes, been there also. Until tonight.
I just thank God for all...
And surrender all in His hand.
I do believe, He will make a way where there seems to be no way.

One of my brother - abang angkat : CHarles, told me that:
"Please do not use your hearth, just follow the rules and use your logic, and the most important thing is: JANGAN GAMPANG SAKIT HATI - AYO DIBAHASA INGGRISKAN ANAK2. YANG BISA DAPAT CIUMAN CUMA-CUMA :p"

It will make you happier.


After 8 months I don't even saw his face, I decided to see him

for the first time.
But, what I've got....
Nope dear...
He just maked an excuse.
I'm to bussy...


Simple sorry, for 8 months...
Simple sorry, for 2 hours, waiting for you to call until 'my cacing protes menjerit2 kelaparan'. hehehehehe
Yes again, as ussual a simple sorry to make me just a sweet little girl.

Ok. Thanks for those kind of sorry *hiks*


Then,in the middle of really good evening...
He's yelling me again.
I wanna go from this house.
Who d' hell are you want to control of my life.
Let me stand on my own foot.

I don't need you.
I don't care.
That's it!!!


This is all your fault.
You make this things happen.
See, you already make the same mistake thousand.

I don't believe you anymore.
Just come home and we talk.
You need a better life and also maybe you need to get married soon. GUBRAKS!!!!


Dear God:
Did you see that, every night in my life, I always spent my time to pray.
I just need a new job.
I just need somebody who can accept, loves and complete me - complete with all my family problems
I just need somebody who can be a problem solving not only give her/his comment in my problems. without give me any clue...

I already alone in the dark, just need a light to find a way back home.

Klo bokap dulu suka bilang, berikan aku umpan untuk memancing ikan, jangan beri aku ikan.Karena dengan umpan aku bisa menangkap ikan yang lebih banyak untuk persediaan nanti. Tapi kalau diberi ikan, aku hanya akan tahu menerimanya, tanpa mengetahui bagaimana usaha untuk mendapatkannya.

And the important point is I NEED YOU LORD.

Ai Ho do Tuhan Pargogo di ahu...

Sorry, kalau postingannya mendadak terus menerus melow...
Hihihihihihi.... just write... a simple though of me...

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